Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.

In this edition: Different Types of Passions

Perspective – What Different Passions Produce

Practical Tactics – What Different Passions Produce

Perspective – What Different Passions Produce

For a long time, the first section of eHarmony's online dating profile asked the online dater to describe what they were most passionate about. This proved an effective means of creating curiosity to draw to people together (or apart, if their interests didn't click).

When you hear the word "passion", though, what do you think of?

• A steamy night of hot romance?
• Jesus carrying a cross? (often called "The Passion of Christ".)
• A personal goal you're excited about accomplishing?

Any one of these could be entered to answer "what are you most passion about?":

• What turns you on?
• What are you willing to sacrifice or even die for?
• What are the dreams and visions for your life?

Case in point: My friend fell into a deep depression right after getting married. She mentioned that she'd been getting desperate to settle down before it was too late for biological children, and he was stable. I wondered if she had "settled" in order to settle down.

She did say that because of the way her husband took care of her when she was hospitalized, she grew an attraction for him that she didn't originally have. Her story strikes me on several levels. It might not be ideal to be with someone you're not passionate about, but it's not hopeless if you do make that choice. Passion may be cultivated.

Practical Tactics – What Different Passions Produce

Unlike my friend, few people these days pursue "romantic" partnerships out of convenience or practicality. But we still "settle" all the time in various areas of our lives, because we believe that what we truly desire is somehow wrong or out of reach.

We also confuse lasting passion with flash-in-the-pan passion, and we sell ourselves short - making life about extremes of momentary pleasures vs. lasting fulfillment.

• Usually, the optimal passion to pursue combines all three "types of passions":
• There may be a cost or sacrifice involved to invest in a greater good long term.
• Ideally, a passion that produces something wonderful down the road is enjoyable right now, in the midst of developing or pursuing it.

Then, when dreams born of passion are realized, there is a sense of joy in both the journey and the destination.

If you are scoping out a possible life-long partner, you can assess your opportunities by how they measure up to the three types of passions. If you are already partnered, it is not too late. You can discover all kinds of hidden treasures if you go exploring on the journey of passion individually and together.

Want in depth online dating insights? Your Love Breakthrough: Effective Online Dating Strategies is available on Amazon.​ ​ Buy now

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